Saturday, 17 January 2015

Card Games On Motorcycles

I was recently given the somewhat dubious privilege of arranging for a sealed deck style Yu-Gi-Oh tournament for a friends birthday. And, as is often the case when I end up being in charge of these things I like to come up with some special rules and features to make things a little more interesting for everybody. And this time around my major inspiration came from the fact that I'd been playing a LOT of Stardust Accelerator. For those of you who are unaware, that's a 5D's era game. So you know what that means, right?

Friday, 2 January 2015

Quite Possibly the 2014th Years End Review You've Read This Week

Urg, it's that time again. For some reason I feel it customary to write some manner of year end summary / review thing. But I have to admit I've been putting it off somewhat. It's not that I haven't really had the time, it's just that, for me personally, this past year has been absolutely fucking AWFUL. So it's kinda hard to maintain the whole cheery "look at all this cool stuff" vibe when being confronted with the start of a new year only makes you wonder if, having barely scraped through the last one, THIS will be the year when you finally kill yourself.

This is why I'm no fun at parties. New years are like birthdays: only celebrated by those who actually have a future.

Still, despite having a full on breakdown I suppose the year wasn't entirely bereft of tawdry consumption, so let's have a look at some of that and just pretend that I didn't bring up the whole inevitable self-termination thing, shall we?

Saturday, 27 December 2014

How To Ruin Childhoods & Influence People

So, I guess it turns out that Santa isn't real.

Obviously this doesn't come as much of shock a bitter, cynical old man such as myself. But even I will freely admit that the audience for Doctor Who is a little broader than continuity obsessed middle aged hermits. So one of the many concerns that I immediately started having after Santa randomly stepped through the TARDIS doors at the end of the last series was how exactly they'd get away with having him in it and maintaining some semblance of coherent science fiction without telling the children of the world that there was no such thing as Father Christmas ON CHRISTMAS DAY.

As it turns out, they decided to go one better.

So.... yeah. INTERESTING sort of episode....

Saturday, 15 November 2014

Send More

Once again I find myself extraordinarily late in posting a review. This is, you may have noticed, becoming a bit of a trend lately. The reasons for this are fairly straightforward. I've always had something of a struggle with depression, and lately it's one that I'm losing. I was all set to get this review done in a timely fashion. I was actually hoping to do it last Sunday. And then my head went a bit wrong and here we are a week later and I've only just managed to pull myself together enough to actually watch the episode again.

I mention this not in a desperate plea for sympathy and attention so much as because it's actually thematically relevant to the subject at hand. Because at long last we've gotten a REALLY good Cyberman episode, finally dealing with some of themes that I've long felt they should be tackling. I'm not sure if I actually managed to discuss this during last episodes review, what with all the excitement of the Master coming back, so let's get down to it now.

I've said it before, and I can't help but think I'll say it again, but I really do love it when stuff I've been thinking about as good for a Doctor Who episode for ages suddenly turns up in some form in the actual show.

Monday, 3 November 2014

Death / Becomes Her

Overall I think I've probably taken a fairly critical tone when evaluating this current series of Doctor Who. Not that I haven't been enjoying it overall, but there have also been quite a few issues that have niggled me and thus I've felt compelled to address.

After all, blogging is basically the single player version of conversation.

But after a rough start and the odd dip, the series has seemed to be getting better over time. And now all of a sudden we've reached the climax. What's interesting here is that whilst, like much of the preceding episodes, the plot is very much founded on things that have gone before, they've finally worked out how to take all that nostalgia and remix it into something that not only feels fresh and exciting, but that actually seems to be making some sort of logical sense.

Which, I have to admit, is not something I was actually anticipating.

Thursday, 30 October 2014

Comparative Anatomy Part 2: Spoodge Is Not A Trace Fossil

When engaging in a review of dubious erotica, one thing it's important to bare in mind is that size really does matter. The shorter the better in fact. And one thing that really works in the favour of these stories is just how short and direct they are. This does at least mean that your not stuck wading through 200 pages of dubious rapeface until two characters who obviously have nothing in common except for the facts that they both hate each other and are secretly horny finally are pushed into about a paragraphs worth of perfunctory insertion. If you'll forgive the simile, your standard "romance" novel is the erotic equivalent of trench warfare: A painfully drawn out, messy and pointless affair that ultimately does nobody any good. Wheras these Dinosaur porn ebooks are more like blitzkrieg: a sudden attack out of nowhere conducted with little ceremony and scant regards for the standard conventions.

The fact that it's more of an assault on your sanity than your underpants is probably a bit of an issue however.

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Comparative Anatomy Part 1: Judge By It's Cover.

So, over the past year or so I've been studying paleontology, albeit in a strictly unofficial, amateur capacity. And it's probably fair to say that I've developed quite a love for the subject of Dinosaurs.

Unfortunately, so have... other elements of the internet. And we all know how literal they can be.

It comes to something when you're looking for paleontology documentaries on amazon, and the recommendations come straight up with Anti-chaffing cream, a washing line and bed bug spray. I don't know what the hell these people are doing, but they're obviously not doing it particularly hygienically.

Still, it's been quite a while since I embarked on one of these horror / comedy type recaps, so so fuck it, why not? Can you guess what time it is?

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Malpractice Makes Perfect

In The Forest of the Night is an interesting episode. There's actually a lot of things to be discussed about it. And hopefully I'll be able to get around to some of them in this review. But after watching it there's really only one thing on my mind, and have to get it out of the way before we can move on to the normal level of petty nitpicking:

Monday, 27 October 2014


How late is this review? VERY LATE. I've been busy, sue me. I was gonna do it at the weekend, but I had a nervous breakdown instead. So that was fun.

Anyway, I'm kinda torn about Flatline. On the one hand it's certainly one of the most original concepts we've had in Doctor Who for a long time now, especially in this season of deja vu.

And on the other hand it makes me think of Fear Her.