Thursday, 30 October 2014

Comparative Anatomy Part 2: Spoodge Is Not A Trace Fossil

When engaging in a review of dubious erotica, one thing it's important to bare in mind is that size really does matter. The shorter the better in fact. And one thing that really works in the favour of these stories is just how short and direct they are. This does at least mean that your not stuck wading through 200 pages of dubious rapeface until two characters who obviously have nothing in common except for the facts that they both hate each other and are secretly horny finally are pushed into about a paragraphs worth of perfunctory insertion. If you'll forgive the simile, your standard "romance" novel is the erotic equivalent of trench warfare: A painfully drawn out, messy and pointless affair that ultimately does nobody any good. Wheras these Dinosaur porn ebooks are more like blitzkrieg: a sudden attack out of nowhere conducted with little ceremony and scant regards for the standard conventions.

The fact that it's more of an assault on your sanity than your underpants is probably a bit of an issue however.

Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Comparative Anatomy Part 1: Judge By It's Cover.

So, over the past year or so I've been studying paleontology, albeit in a strictly unofficial, amateur capacity. And it's probably fair to say that I've developed quite a love for the subject of Dinosaurs.

Unfortunately, so have... other elements of the internet. And we all know how literal they can be.

It comes to something when you're looking for paleontology documentaries on amazon, and the recommendations come straight up with Anti-chaffing cream, a washing line and bed bug spray. I don't know what the hell these people are doing, but they're obviously not doing it particularly hygienically.

Still, it's been quite a while since I embarked on one of these horror / comedy type recaps, so so fuck it, why not? Can you guess what time it is?

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Malpractice Makes Perfect

In The Forest of the Night is an interesting episode. There's actually a lot of things to be discussed about it. And hopefully I'll be able to get around to some of them in this review. But after watching it there's really only one thing on my mind, and have to get it out of the way before we can move on to the normal level of petty nitpicking:

Monday, 27 October 2014


How late is this review? VERY LATE. I've been busy, sue me. I was gonna do it at the weekend, but I had a nervous breakdown instead. So that was fun.

Anyway, I'm kinda torn about Flatline. On the one hand it's certainly one of the most original concepts we've had in Doctor Who for a long time now, especially in this season of deja vu.

And on the other hand it makes me think of Fear Her.

Sunday, 19 October 2014

Watching It Dry

It's about time for one of my woefully infrequent updates on mini painting. It's been quite a while since I've posted anything on the subject, but I haven't been entirely neglectful of the hobby. Just somewhat preoccupied with various other things. But I've still been working on the thing on and off, and it turns out I actually have quite a lot of new stuff to put up. So let's get on with it shall we?

Saturday, 18 October 2014

Maternal Instinct

You may recall that last week I made certain predictions as to the familiarity of Mummy On The Orient Express based on the continuing sense of Deja Vu that the series of Doctor Who has been consistently delivering. And whilst it wasn't exactly going out of it's way to prove me wrong, there was certainly one thing that was quite unexpected about it. Not only was it actually really good, it was also one of the best episodes so far.

Friday, 10 October 2014

Add 2 And Beat Well (With A Shovel)

Another week, another episode of Doctor Who. Another episode, another chance to tediously nitpick every slightest detail. And there's actually quite a few interesting points to be discussed about Kill The Moon.

Although I'm sure the main question everyone's asking is simply "Clara Oswald: What the FUCK is her problem?!?!?".

But we'll get back to that. There are a few other points to cover first.

Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Dairy Goodness

It's proving to be an interesting run this series of Doctor Who. Wt first the series seemed intent on redoing old episodes, before seemingly stopping to actually try and make some episodes that were actually good instead of just retro. And now, as we approach the mid point of series it seems they've decided to mix things up and do both. I enjoyed The Caretaker to be sure. And I'd certainly say it was a fairly good episode. But I keep having this terrible feeling of Deja Vu...

Saturday, 27 September 2014

A Dead Crab

Wow, this review is coming in late, huh? I'd apologize if I thought anybody actually cared. Or was even reading this. Still, one must press on.

When reviewing an episode of of Doctor Who one of the most important things is in deciding what angle to take in ones assessment. I find it helpful to have some sort of hook from which to start. And I admit I was a little stumped at first with how to tackle Time Heist. It's a good episode, sure. But more solid than standout remarkable. But when I finally managed to rewatch it I finally realized what it was about that episode that made it particularly enjoyable to me, and would give me my starting point when talking about it.

Did you know that 9 out of 10 housewives can't tell the difference between Time Heist and an adventure module for a Cyberpunk RPG?