Thursday 14 February 2013

Monster Mash Part 1: Legend Of The Four Things

Like all right thinking people I most heartened at the recent announcement that the Ice Warriors would at long last be returning to the world of televised Doctor Who. They are, after all, a great monster with a surprising amount of depth considering how little they've been used. That they will be back in a story by Mark Gatiss is quite promising. I mean, yeah Night Terrors. But everyone has an off day. That said story will be featuring David Warner is a fantastic prospect. Even if it does give one a slight sense of Deja Vu.

One of these days I need to do a list of all the stuff Big Finish did first.

However, there was something else that rather caught my attention in the announcement:

...Traditionally seen as one of the show’s “Big Four” pantheon of monsters – along with the Daleks, the Cybermen and the Sontarans...
And as much as I love the Ice Warriors (I.E. carnally) I cannot help but ask. ORLY?

Doctor Who has a rich and varied history of monsters and villains. Over the course of it's many years we've had a remarkable amount of alien terrors grace our screens. But when you start talking about there being a "Big Four" I have to say that the idea is, at best, wishful thinking.

At worst you're watching the wrong show and can't count.

Now, when I'm talking about bigness I'm not talking about quality of the monsters, or even popularity. But when you're talking about the big monsters in Dr Who the order is, sadly, pretty clear cut. There's the Daleks, and then there's everything else. To list a monster that hasn't even been seen since 1974 next to a foe that casts the Daleks kind of shadow over the series seems somewhat disingenuous.

Still, I am myself oversimplifying things a little. So let's break things down a little more and see if we can't organise things by tier.

Yeah, I'm using a new style Dalek picture. What are you gonna do about it?

At the top, as stated we of course have the Daleks. No monster is so closely associated with the show, and no monster has been as integral to the shows success. It is no understatement to say that without the Daleks Doctor Who would almost certainly not have lasted more than a couple of series. As great and important as every other contribution to the show has been it was Dalekmania that really got us started. Other monsters have tried to come close, but nothing has ever truly equalled the impact the Daleks have had.


On the second tier we have both the Cybermen and the Master. The Cybermen were, of course, in part designed to supplant the Daleks in popularity. So were many other monsters. The Cybermen were really the only ones to ever come close though. Many people would even rank them up there with the Daleks. But as I've said, there isn't really anything that can compete directly with the sheer ubiquity of the Daleks. Think of it like an MMO or CCG if you like. The Daleks are World Of Warcraft or Magic: The Gathering. No matter how great your thing may be you're never really going to supplant anything that entrenched. And thus the Cybermen lose out by a narrow margin.

Some may argue that the Master doesn't really belong on a list of Monsters per se. To such semantic quibbling I can only say: Googly eyes.


Doctor Who did Hellraiser first. And it did it to kids at tea time. And even when he's not in rotting corpse mode, the Master is one of the more monstrous villains in the series. I mean, even the Daleks haven't managed to wipe out that many inhabited systems on screen. And certainly not aspart of an insane scheme involving a Dictaphone.

Then we come to the 3rd tier of monsters. And whilst it contains some of my all time favourites we cannot deny that we are now scraping the barrel in terms of repeat appearances. All great monsters to be sure, but in terms of constructing some table of omnipresent all time greats? We're reaching a little.

First up we of course have mighty Sontaran Empire.


This however is a lot less impressive when you realize that they only beat out the monsters in this tier by randomly appearing at the end of The Invasion Of Time in order to pad it out for a couple of episodes. And if we're honest they weren't exactly used that well in the Two Doctors either. As great as the Sontarans are as a monster they do rather occupy the position of default threat when you want a returning monster but don't want the Daleks, Cybermen or The Master.


The Silurians & Sea Devils are also found on this level. Another great monster to be sure. But not one that's enjoyed much in the way of repeat performances. Indeed, it may be considered cheating slightly to put them together. But when you think about it this is one of the few times you can add 2 and 2 together and come out with a grand total of 3. And personal preferences aside the only real reason they're placing slightly higher than our next monster is the fact they've already had appearances in the new series.


And so, bringing up the rear do we at last  find the Ice Warriors. A great monster to be sure. Elevated from a rather generic menace thanks to the wonderful Curse Of Peladon, but hardly even mentioned since. Certainly they've been well served in the various expanded media releases, but to be honest you can say that about every other monster on this list. Really the key to making them successful is to retain the potential for sophistication given in Curse without the backpedaling into generic villainy that was their final swansong in the Monster Of Peladon. Antagonistic rather than villainous. Their goals may conflict with the heroes, and they may be determined and militaristic, but they should be able to be reasoned with.

Of course, that all may sound a trifle familiar. But that's what I want to talk about in the next instalment, so consider this a cliffhanger if you like.

No, I will never get tired of this picture. Why do you ask?

And then we come to everything else. The one hit wonders. It's a mistake though to assume that Repetition = Success. Many monsters and villains worked so well once that there was little left to do with them. A one time threat that actually get's defeated and doesn't continually come back from total annihilation every 5 minutes is actually a good thing. It doesn't rob the heroes actions of all meaning. What, after all is the point of all that season long scheming and manipulation if Fenric only pops up again next week with a copy of travel scrabble and evil glint in his eye? It doesn't diminish the monster in anyway. Just look at the enduring popularity of the Zygons. They only managed one appearance and yet fans have been eagerly anticipating their return for years.

Ultimately the monsters that keep coming back are the ones that have a reason to keep coming back. More to do with and be explored perhaps. But sometimes equally simply because if you have a generic alien menace there's no better way to spice up the story than with a bit of fan service.

THEY'RE DALEK BUMPS.

A one shot monster is only ever a single good idea away from making a comeback. But how far they can climb the ladder is another matter entirely.

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